One last thing: you raise a very interesting question: is Brad resistant to women in general? I see no romantic feelings of love toward women in him. Is he so damaged that he can’t love? Is he a misogynist? Or is he ready to ready to go on a season of the Bachelor that Bob references above? It’s hard to tell.

Thanks for these great comments. I completely agree with you that one reason to watch is to find out why Brad’s not into it. And he is so not! I love when he eliminated the one Ashley and said he was going to walk her to her car. It seemed like a kind gesture, but he never said anything during that walk. He drug her to the car like a bouncer booting someone from a bar. I think the analogy holds when you consider how bored and frustrated bouncers look in those situations. It seemed like a boring job for Brad. And Chantal—the double entendres she was throwing at Brad last night. Brad was either too dumb to understand them, too bored to react, or too bothered by the entire premise of the show. And yet he feels the need to be on the show. . . again.

Like you, I’m fascinated to see how the series ends.

Much appreciated and insightful article. I watch The Bachelor with a group of women who set aside Monday evenings to gulp wine and revel in the masochistic moments you (and others) describe. What you have tapped into here, I think, is something we have also noticed but have been unable to articulate, other than to state repeatedly our collective observation that Brad is just really not that into it. (The question of “it” is open to debate and your discussion of Brad’s abandonment issues prompts further dissecting of what, exactly, Brad is resisting. Whereas previous bachelors have also proffered the vacant look and mannequin smile, Brad’s emptiness is vaguely different, prompting curiosity about what, specifically, he’s resisting – these women? women in general? the process? the inescapable decision at the end? the idea of love?)

This season is unusually painful for the very reasons you suggest, and I think you quite accurately pinpoint how the show’s present moment reveals the gravity of “blindly submitting ourselves to normative ideas.” As regular viewers, our recognition of Brad’s resistance – his not-into-it-ness – is the first step toward changing the channel because, as Nick points out above, it’s just not very entertaining. However, I want to tentatively suggest that our curiosity about WHY he’s not into it and ultimately the possibility that he might actually free himself from these patriarchal ruins (via a finale that fails to end with a partnership) are why we keep watching despite the truly painful pain.

Thanks for the kind words. Yes, the Rock of Love franchise definitely takes a carnivalesque approach to marriage and normative gender roles. Those shows set up events so that the contestants and Brett can rehearse monogamous relationships that might lead to marriage, but the series simultaneously reveals how the events won’t lead to a final couple. We know all along that there will be another season of Rock of Love and that this coupling won’t work.

In terms of the past and emotional traumas in ROL, the past becomes synonymous with your occupation, specifically how being a rock star or a stripper has affected your ability to have a relationship. While both professions are stigmatized to a certain extent—Brett says rock-n-roll ruined his relationships and the women want to name the strippers because they are somehow damaged goods—both professions ultimately become a source of pleasure and sexual freedom within the series. That is, Brett wants to party with strippers, no matter what the narrative goals of the series might claim. Of course, I don’t mean simply to celebrate raunch culture or claim that it is anti-mainstream. It is worthy of critique, too. I’m working on a book chapter now that touches on the class assumptions about raunch culture in Flavor of Love.

I forgot to mention one other thing. You mention that The Bachelor has you relive social traumas. I have similar reactions to reality TV. Even though we all know reality TV is fabricated beyond belief, I often have this base reaction to social experiment reality programs where I think, “Yeah, this is how life sometimes works.” I wonder if that is a key aspect to the pleasure or displeasure of reality TV.

Thanks so much for the great comments.

Your comments on Brad’s childlike nature are right on. In fact, I think that’s why the season portrays him as interested in two contestants who already have kids. He’s like a prepubescent boy who wants a family but isn’t ready to procreate. Thus, these women can offer him a family, but he can continue to be the boy (in fact, he reminded me of Peter Pan in the Cirque Du Soleil number this week).

I really agree with your comments about the brutal nature of the system in dating shows and reality TV, but the brutality usually makes me laugh. The shows seem to get at the nasty nature of social systems and the power dynamics that operate underneath any signs of cordiality. And this often plays out in really ridiculous ways–like on Brad’s elimination date with the Ashleys where, because they both have the same name, it becomes impossible to keep track of the one he is complimenting and the one he is eliminating.

Thanks for the thoughtful comment. I wasn’t aware of how unruly last season was. That provides an interesting context for this season.

You make a great point of the season trying to contain any subversive element of Emily. The producers really arrange for events between her and Brad to deal with her dead husband. You have to wonder if she’s thinking, “Why is this guy taking my in an airplane? Why is this guy making me drive a race car?” I hope these events don’t continue if Emily makes it to the family visit round!